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Why do Women Earn Less than Men for the Same Work?

Recently, a small controversy erupted when it was reported that Mary Barra, the first female CEO of General Motors, will earn approximately half what her male predecessor made. The story reignited the issue of pay inequality relative to sex. The National Protrusion asks, What are some reasons men give as to why women get paid less than men for the same work?

  • Tradition.
  • Women have a whole range of unnecessary emotions, which only get in the way of decision-making. Men have known for years that the only emotions you need are rage, envy and greed.
  • Sexism, obviously.
  • Women often take time off when they have children. Men don’t need similar time off, because they don’t give birth. This is a huge plus in its own right, but, more importantly, it’s been proven for generations that children benefit when fathers stay distant and aloof. Men know the best dad is an emotionally unavailable dad.
  • Women don’t have penises to whip out and compare to other men’s penises in order to judge their status. Breasts don’t work the same way. They’re awesome, and any broad who wants to should feel free to whip them out at any time, but they just don’t work the same way. As Sun Tzu said, “A cock is a cock.”