Palin Pens Exquisite, Nuanced Facebook Update

Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin posted what is being hailed as a “masterpiece” of the genre of Facebook status updates Tuesday, wowing both literary critics and fans alike. The post has received millions of views and sparked questions about Palin’s political future.

“Today is a day for freedom,” Palin’s post began. “Isn’t that what’s so great about America?!!?! Freedom! I love freedom. And I know you do, too. You know who doesn’t? The Washington bureaucrats. They don’t see freedom the same way you and I do. They don’t value it. They just say the word, but they don’t feel it down deep inside.”

The post was part an expression of thanks to her many fans in the social networking community, and part mission statement.

“I’m going to do everything in my power to see that your freedoms are protected,” she wrote. “I may not be a governor anymore, but that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped working for you. I haven’t. And I never will. I’ll keep fightin’ till the sun don’t shine.”

The post transcends the normal limitations of the Facebook update genre, says Earl Ablenon, Professor of English at Duke University and an author of several biographies of famous American authors.

“She has done something quite unusual here, even for her,” Ablenon said. “She has combined the simple, conversational tone with…well, with more simple, conversational tone. It’s like nothing I’ve seen in all my years studying literature.”

Ablenon cited specific parts of the post as examples.

“This right here,” he said, pointing to a particular point within the post, on his computer monitor. “This is a type of phrasing I have never seen before: ‘When the bureaucrats run things, that means more of the same, for sure, for ever. For sure.’ I mean, the repeated use of ‘for sure,’ and the off placement of ‘forever.’ Extraordinary.”


Death Panel Rules Palin be Tweeted to Death

Washington – A death panel convened by the Obama Administration to judge which Americans are allowed to live or die has ruled that former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin must be tweeted, or twittered, to death.


Palin’s Rating Among Moose, Wolves Has Plummeted

Juneau, Alaska – When Sarah Palin returned to her job as Governor of Alaska earlier this month, following her star turn as Republican Vice Presidential candidate, many in the political world expected she might find a changed landscape. She had been the tough-talking spokeswoman for the far right of her party and had upset several people with whom she had a respectful working relationship prior to the election.

Two groups in particular have apparently turned on Palin since she ran on the Republican ticket with John McCain: wolves and moose. Palin’s approval rating among the two groups has dropped some 52%, from 71% before the election season to just 19% this week. Many wolves and moose say they respected Palin early on, but after the way they were treated during the campaign, everything changed.

“I’m just not happy with the way we were thrown about — used, if you will, in the campaign,” said Harvey Moose, who voted for Palin for governor. “I used to love her. I really did. But making a point of hunting us, making stew out of us. ‘Oh, I love moose stew.’ I mean, come on. That’s my cousin you’re talking about. He was probably in that stew. You know. Just disrespectful. It really turned me off.”

Allan Wolf, a younger Alaska native, said that Palin’s treatment of wolves was even worse than that of moose. “I have to say, I didn’t know she supported such a thing as hunting us from airplanes,” Allan said. “Now that I know that, how could I possibly support her? She wants to shoot me. From a plane. From the ground. She doesn’t care. From anywhere. You know, it’s tough to vote for someone who uses you as target practice. It just is.”

Insiders say it will be tough for Palin to regain the support of the two groups, even if she were to make large gestures to court their approval. “It’s going to be very, very tough,” said an aide to Palin, who spoke on condition of anonymity because she was not authorized to speak publicly. “I mean, you say you kill and eat a certain constituency, it’s likely to be tough to get that constituency back. That’s a rule of politics. I think Nixon said, back when he lost to Kennedy, ‘I never should have said I would eat the Italians.’ And he lost that whole vote. So it goes to show you.”

NPN The Mack Truck

Election Reaction – The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show

The Mack Truck tells a caller he’s not upset about the outcome of the election. But is he telling the truth? A transcript is below the video.


Couric to Palin: Do You Know We’re Recording This?

New York – Several times during her exclusive interview with Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric asked Palin whether or not she was aware that the interviews were being taped, and that “other people would see them.” Palin reportedly told Couric that she was indeed aware, but then asked Couric what she meant by “broadcast.”