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Politics

Russert Detains Obama for Further Questioning

Cleveland, OH – Following the Democratic primary debate at Cleveland State University Tuesday night, NBC Washington bureau chief Tim Russert detained Barack Obama for several hours in a small room in the school’s main building, and forced him to answer additional questions.

“I didn’t like some of his answers, and I had some documents of his from elementary school that I wanted him to answer for,” Russert said. “One of them contained a drawing of what was supposedly a tree, but actually looked very much like Osama bin Laden. I couldn’t let that go unanswered.”

Categories
Politics

Clinton Accuses Obama of Winning

Houston, TX – Hillary Clinton today accused rival Barack Obama of, “Just winning all over the place.” Senator Clinton has ramped up attacks in recent weeks, as Obama has racked up 10 victories in a row in head-to-head contests. Senator Clinton accused Obama of winning without concern for her losing.

“And each time he wins, I lose,” Clinton said, speaking to supporters at a rally in here. “But does he care? No. Mr. Big Shot Winner Guy doesn’t care. He just keeps on winning. Just winning, winning, winning all over the place. And I’ll tell you what, it makes me want to vomit. Which he wouldn’t care about either. He’d probably try to vomit more, just so he can win at that too.”

The Obama campaign had no response to the accusations.