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Sources: Grassley May Be Biased Against Public Health Plan Because He’s Already Dead

Washington – Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa, the ranking Republican on the all-important Senate Finance Committee, could be unfairly biased against the inclusion of a public option in health care reform legislation because he is already dead, according to two former congressional aides. The aides both requested anonymity because they did not want to anger Senator Grassley.

“It was 2006 when we first suspected he might be dead,” one former aide said. “February of 2006. He suddenly took on a kind of ghostly pallor, and never ate anything. I accidentally touched his arm once when reaching for some papers and it was cold. Ice cold.”