Press "Enter" to skip to content

Senator: I’m Fairly Certain I Didn’t Hack That Girl to Pieces

Washington – Senator Casey Dudd (R-KS) is facing increased scrutiny over his alleged involvement in the murder of a female assistant, Angela Umbert. Ms. Umbert was found chopped to pieces in Mr. Dudd’s Senate office here in Washington. The Senator has admitted he was in the office at the time of Ms. Umbert’s death, and that no one else was in the room with the two of them. A bloody ax was found under Senator Dudd’s desk, and blood from the ax is said to match blood on Senator Dudd’s clothing. But, he says, he doesn’t recall chopping up Ms. Umbert.

“I’m fairly certain I didn’t,” the senator told reporters, as he was taken into custody. “I mean, my memory’s kind of cloudy. I take antidepressants, and they can make my thinking a bit hazy. Plus, I was drunk. And I had done some heroin. And there was a bit of meth in there somewhere. So I’m, I’m just not sure.”

Senator Dudd’s attorney, Michael Ambrano, sought yesterday to deflect responsibility for Ms. Umbert’s death away from his client. When asked who he thinks may have committed the murder if not Senator Dudd, Mr. Ambrano said, “I don’t know. Maybe she wanted to die. I don’t know. Maybe she chopped herself up. I know–I mean, I know that sounds like it would be difficult. But she was in good shape. She could probably wield the ax a certain way as to–You know, you do the legs first, then the torso. If you’re not dead yet, you continue, and you leave the heart and the brain for last. It’s possible. Difficult, but possible.”