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Depressed Congressman Tries to Veto His Own Bill

Washington – Congressman Warren App (D-Utah) attempted to veto a school funding bill that he himself had brought before the House of Representatives, saying, “Ah, what’s the use? Just screw it. I veto this…this God-forsaken bill. What’s the point anyway, huh? Tell me that. What’s the ever-loving point of anything?!”

Friends say App is in the throes of a deep depression, and has been behaving erratically for weeks. As a congressman, App doesn’t hold veto power, so the bill will indeed be voted on by the House, as first intended. If it passes the House, it will then go on to the Senate for a vote. Asked about the possibility of it reaching the Senate, App said, “Oh, who the hell cares? Life is meaningless. Don’t you see that? What difference is a stupid, dumb, totally stupid bill going to make?”