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Democrappic Convention Night Three – Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey

In this excerpt from today’s show, The Mack Truck discusses the third night of the Democratic National Convention. A transcript follows the jump.

HENRY: Yes, this is The Henry “Mack Truck” Harvey Show. Welcome. Talking about the third night of the Democrappic National Convention.

Bill Clinton, Joe Biden.

Our first caller is John from Reno, Nevada. John, go ahead. You’re on with The Mack Truck.

CALLER: Yeah, I just–I have to say, I’m a little concerned at this point, as a conservative, watching the convention. This looks like a good group.

HENRY: Yeah, John, don’t be worried. Don’t be scared. You know why? ‘Cause they’re just Democrats. They’re just wittle Democrats. They can’t hurt you.

They’re not the real thing.

The Democrats are like that thing in your closet when you were a kid, that you thought was there. And you ran and got your dad and dragged him in your room and said, “Dad, Dad, there’s a monster in the closet.” And your dad showed you that it was just a shirt on top of a box. And he made you sleep in the basement. Without a blanket.

That’s the Democrats.

You know what Democrats are like? They’re like that girl that you see at the county fair or the park from far away. And she has long, flowing blond hair, and she’s beautiful, and she’s wearing these tight jeans, and you’re checking her out. And she turns around, and she’s a guy. And you’re like, Am I gay? Does this make me gay? I mean, I thought it was a girl, so that would be a vote for not gay, but I was staring at his ass, so that confuses things.

The Democrats are like that – a girl you thought was hot that you see from far away, but when she turns around, she’s actually a guy who wants to be in Def Leppard.