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Delta to Offer Discount Seating on Wings

Atlanta, GA – Delta Airlines announced today it would offer special discounted seating to passengers willing to sit on the wings of its planes. “We think this is a wonderful opportunity for those passengers looking for a low-cost way to fly,” said Deborah Anville, a Delta spokesperson. “If you live, and reach your destination, you’ll have that much more money to spend.”

The price per ticket would be “somewhere between $150 and $200,” according to Anville, and would not include a meal. “But that’s not that much of an issue, because at that altitude, you likely won’t be feeling your mouth, or any other part of your body. But the upside is, you won’t know you’re hungry, so you won’t really feel like you’re missing anything.”