Cheney Injures Larynx Laughing Diabolically
Washington-Vice President Dick Cheney was treated for injuries to his larynx and stomach muscles last night, after laughing diabolically at President Bush’s proposed budget and the response to it.
“Vice President Cheney should make a full recovery, and was doing well when I left him last night,” said a White House medical technician who preferred to remain nameless. “The budget just seemed to touch a nerve. I think the realization of the unabashed abuse of the poor–I think that’s what really got him.”
Reports surfaced in the early morning hours about Cheney being unable to cease his own laughter even hours after being given medical attention, and muttering, “He cut it all… He cut it all… My glorious apprentice cut it all…” The reports were roundly denied by White House spokesman Scott McClellan.
“That is untrue to the point of being libelous,” McClellan bellowed during a briefing about Cheney’s condition. “You liberal media people… Well, let’s just say I’m glad we know who you are.”
In a related story, a White House beat reporter for the Peeksbury Times has been reported missing. This newspaper loves the Bush administration and everything it stands for.