Trump Without Access To Key Advisers As Remote Control Goes Missing

The White House

WASHINGTON – Chaos erupted this morning at the White House when President Trump could not find the remote control for the TV in the President’s Bedroom for several minutes, thereby cutting him off from trusted advisers Steve Doocy, Brian Kilmeade, and Ainsley Earhardt the hosts of “Fox & Friends” on the Fox News Channel, according to a senior White House official.

“It was just bedlam,” the official said. He spoke to The Bulletin on condition of anonymity as he is not authorized to discuss internal White House operations. “Chaos. People running in all directions. Screaming. Alarms blaring. It was a scary few minutes.”

White House officials notified the Departments of Defense and Homeland Security of the problem, according to the official.

“It was serious,” he said. “It was an all-hands-on-deck situation. This remote had to be found.”

President Trump has noted many times how much he enjoys Fox’s morning show, most recently in an interview with Tucker Carlson, telling him, “I like that group of three people,” meaning the hosts of “Fox & Friends”.

“He relies on them, the hosts of that show and other shows, mostly Fox shows, to learn about the world, about what’s happening, about everything from intelligence matters to national security to the economy,” the official said. “He needs that information. Otherwise he’d have to, like, read or listening to experts and briefings and such.”

Eventually, the remote control was located in between cushions of the large sofa that sits at the side of the President’s Bedroom. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and life went on. But how did it happen?

“Most people think Trump left it there himself,” the official said. “But he blamed a Secret Service guy and fired him. Young guy. Two young kids. It’s kind of a sad story. But, hey, at least we found the remote. Crisis averted.”

According to the official, senior aides to the president are considering putting a tracking device on the remote control, similar to the one that is on the president’s phone and other important security objects.

“We can’t have this happen again,” the official said. “It’s too risky.”

DISCLAIMER: This article is a work of satire and is completely fictional.

March 16th, 2017 by