Palin: This Financial Situation Needs a Good Scrubbin’ and a Cleanin’

Harrisburg, PA – Campaigning with Senator John McCain in Pennsylvania Monday, Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin told an invited audience of nearly 3,000 that Wall Street needed “a good old-fashioned scrubbin’. A heck of a lot of it. A whole lot of cleanin’ and scrubbin’ is required for this hoot of a mess we’re in here.” Further details were not provided regarding Palin’s ideas for an economic recovery plan. Senator McCain was asleep throughout much of Palin’s prepared remarks, until suddenly waking up with a start and yelling, “Barracuda!” He fell back asleep moments later.

Palin spoke generally about the economic crisis currently shaking Wall Street and the country. “This is just an awful mess of a situation,” Palin said. “It’s a doozy of a messerino. And this kind of mess requires a really good cleaner. And that’s what we are, me and John McCain. We’re the best scrubbers and cleaners there are. We’ll get in there and mop up the mess. Just soak it right up. Clean it all up nice and spiffy and get it good as new again. You betcha we will.”

Though all of the nearly 3,000 audience members were invited to the event, one woman in the audience, Sandra Middleton, told Palin she felt the need to ask her for more specifics, especially on the economy. “I mean, this is a serious situation,” Middleton said. “So, how exactly are you going to clean it up? You know, what is it specifically that you’re going to do?”

“Yah. Exactly,” Palin responded. “That’s exactly the question, huh? What exactly is going to be done to help me, to help the average American? Not some fat cat on Wall Street or some Washington insider who’s been gaming the system in the good-old-boy network. But me, the regular person. And that’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna put government back to work for you. The American people. Yah.”

“But how?” Middleton asked.

“Well, yah, the way I said,” Palin replied. “You know? We’ll go in and clean up the mess we got in there. On Wall Street. And in Washington, too. ‘Cause it’s not just Wall Street. It’s Washington. And that’s what we’ll do. We’ll clean it up. Soak it up. Get it good as new. Shiny and bright and clean, like America oughta be.”

Palin then turned to Senator McCain and said, “John, you want to weigh in on the lady’s question here?” But McCain was once again asleep. Palin’s question shook the senator from his slumber, as McCain shot up and said, “Herbert Hoover!”

September 23rd, 2008 by