Bush Wakes From ‘Crazy Dream’ Where He Was President For Seven and a Half Years

Washington – President Bush said he woke up this morning after having “this wild, crazy dream” where he was President of the United States for the last seven and a half years.

“It was so weird,” Mr. Bush said during an interview with a German newspaper, to be published next week. “I had all these people following me around, reporters, security guys–I guess, Secret Service or what have you. A bunch of people. I was meeting with foreign leaders, making big decisions. It was great. But it was wild. I mean, me – the President. You know? I mean, it’s just wild. To even think about that.”

The reporter attempted to point out to Mr. Bush that he has actually been the president, and that the fact that he had a dream about it didn’t mean it wasn’t true. “Oh, okay. Yeah,” Mr. Bush replied, smiling. “Right. I see what you’re doing. You’re trying to get me to go along, pull my leg as much as you can. Get me to go… Yeah. No, you’re good. You’re good. But, no. I know what’s real and what’s a dream, and this was most certainly a dream. A dream is something that could never happen in reality. And this is one of those things. I mean, have you seen my resume? I don’t see how a guy like me gets to be president. At least, not in this lifetime. But, no, it’s great to be able to dream about it. That’s what great about dreams. Anything’s possible in dreams. I love when I have those ones where I’m really tall. Because I’m not tall in real life. I love those.”

Later, White House Press Secretary Dana Perino explained that Mr. Bush was being examined for possible temporary confusion brought on by exhaustion and/or dehydration. “The president has had a rough travel schedule of late,” Perino explained in a press briefing at the White House. “And as such, it’s possible he’s suffered some effects from the physical exhaustion, and also possibly from dehydration. Obviously, the president knows he is, in fact, the president. But I have to tell you, I had a dream last night, too, where I was given the job of speaking for the White House–like, being the official voice of the White House. Even though I know next to nothing about American history or, or world politics in general or anything like that. Man, it was nuts. And so real. But anyway, what was I saying?”

June 12th, 2008 by