Washington – The U.S. Senate voted 51-49 to approve oil drilling in an Alaskan wildlife refuge. It was a significant victory for President Bush and several high-powered corporations, and a heartbreaking setback for living things. The Senate vote brings President Bush one step closer to achieving his two-layer plan to rid the world of evil so he can then rid it of nature.
“This is a huge victory, a big day,” the President said while meeting with reporters on the White House lawn. “I mean, it’s not every day you get the green light from the Senate of the United States to eradicate natural wonders so that your friends can make millions of dollars. I mean, have you ever had a day like that?”
When asked about the status of phase one of the plan, ridding the world of evil, the President said, “Oh, that’s almost complete. There’s almost no evil left anywhere, which you’ll see if you, uh, if you look around. It’s amazing, really. Evil’s on the run. And now, so is oxygen.”